I find it interesting that if you list off the sins that come to mind, many can directly or indirectly lead back to the fact that we as humans are constantly comparing ourselves with others. We compare our homes (inside and outside), cars, spouses, kids, education, looks, retirement accounts, careers, friends, paychecks, churches, pastors, parenting skills, and even the wrinkles on our face. We are a culture of coveting. Many of us are a people who for the most part are discontent with the abundance and the beauty in our lives.
I know some of you are saying to yourselves that not all comparing is bad. I will give you that. There is a place for looking to those who have gone before us as we evaluate our own lives. However, I know that it is far easier to error on the negative and envy those we hold in high esteem. Comparison usually sows some form of hatred and discontentment in our hearts. Often times, unfortunately, it is directed towards God. To my shame, I have had the nerve to question God, why _______? Fill in the blank. We all have these questions from time to time. Why can’t I have a career I love that provides for the family? Why do I struggle with health issues so much? Why didn’t you give me more financial wisdom in my earlier years? Why do I have a learning disability? Why was my child in a car accident? Why did You let me choose this spouse? Why can’t I connect with those at work? Why? Why? Why? If we do not verbalize it, the questions often loom deep in our hearts. This causes us to operate spiritually like we operate physically with a low-grade fever, not feeling so great and just getting by.
Through many years of discontentment and even seasons of anger with God, He has continued to be very patient and extraordinarily gracious with me. There has been much pain and disappointment in my life because I have not yet reached my goals, I am not anywhere near where I thought I would be at this age. I speak to clients every week who have similar sentiments. I am not a Superstar pastor, professor, preacher, or counselor. There have been times when I wasn’t even a pastoral figure or a man who walked intimately with God, let alone a Superstar. Although I am not always satisfied with the truth of “His ways are higher than our ways.” There is great comfort in an all-sovereign, gracious God who is aware of a sickly sparrow who has dropped to the earth. How much more is He aware of my struggles. In His divine wisdom, He uses my sin, foolishness, and affliction to mold me into the man He desires me to be.
And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Phil.1:6)
The Problem: For those who are a part of the American church, we have been brought up in a culture that is very success driven. We define success often by external, measurable results (size of church, number of books published, invited to speak at retreats and conferences, and on it goes). This can be a clear way to define success but it is not the only way. The ordinary Pastor has a crucial role. The ordinary teacher. Has a crucial role. The ordinary cook has a crucial role. You get my point. This can be translated to any profession. There is most likely a person whom you admire in your field and have desired to be in their shoes, with their paycheck, status, and skill level. Reality is God has not called us to be super-stars in our profession, He has called us to be faithful to Him and the pursuit of excellence.
“But as you excel in everything – in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you – see that you excel in this act of grace also.” 2 Cor. 8:7
“So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31
For years I did not understand why God would not bless and or fulfill my well-intentioned goals and dreams. As noble as the task, career or activity that it was (raising funds to build orphanages and to support orphans, for example), it was what I wanted to do for God which was different from what He wanted to do in me. I thought surely he desires for me to take care of orphans (James 1:27) when in reality, He does not need me for anything. In regards to my life, He is more concerned with me knowing and loving Him deeply and intimately, to see Him as He truly is and not what I have made Him out to be.
There is no debate that God custom-designs our path to actively smooth and refine our rough edges. The avenue He often takes seems similar to a stone that sits in a river bed for hundreds of years gradually becoming smoother and smoother simply by being present, in the midst of action and letting the water rush over it moment by moment. It reminds me of a song by Nicole Nordeman called River God:
Rolling River God Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through So I am a stone
rough and grainy still Trying to reconcile this river’s chill
CHORUS: But when I close my eyes and feel you rushing by I know that time brings change and change takes time And when the sunset comes my prayer would be just this one that you might pick me up and notice that I am just a little smoother in your hand
Sometimes raging wild sometimes swollen high never have I known this river dry The deepest part of you is where I want to stay and feel the sharpest edges wash away
For as long as we draw breath in this life we will struggle with the destructive vice of comparison. If we draw near to Christ and take to heart the holy words of Scripture, our rough edges will smooth out some and become less grainy. But we must be mindful that comparison is the root of our lust for people, material possessions, status and fame. Comparison is what got Adam and Eve in trouble because they wanted to be like God and have “wisdom” by knowing good and evil. What did they do with this new-found “wisdom”? They discovered how ugly they had become and hid from the only good thing, their Father God. Comparison is one of the sharpest and most devastating weapons that the Evil uses to wound and hinder growth and sanctification in God’s people. We must mortify (destroy the strength) our sin and begin to glory in what Christ has done for His Father and in our lives. We must constantly study the Gospel, hear the Gospel, experience the Gospel in community, preach the Gospel to ourselves and to others so that we will remember Christ and be dazzled by Him. When we do not remember the work of Christ on a momentarily basis, we will be dazzled by lesser things and idols will form in our heart.
If we compare ourselves to others in a coveting manner, then we will not experience the “great gain in godliness with contentment” that Paul talks about in 1 Timothy 6:6. It robs us of the joy in knowing that our Creator has designed each individual for a specific purpose and it de-values our worth as a member of the Body of Christ. Go and be encouraged that though life rarely turns out the way we desire, our living and holy God is sovereign and desires the highest good for those Whom He has called in love. He considers you a Master-piece because of what Christ has accomplished on our behalf!
